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"Every Sperm Is Sacred" There are Jews in the world there are Buddhists There are Hindus and Mormons, and then There are those that follow Mohammed, but I've never been one of them I'm a Roman Catholic And have been since before I was born And the one thing they say about Catholics is They'll take you as soon as you're warm You don't have to be a six-footer You don't have to have a great brain You don't have to have any clothes on you're A Catholic the moment Dad came Because every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found Every sperm is wanted Every sperm is good Every sperm is needed In your neighborhood Hindu, Taoist, Mormon Spill theirs just anywhere But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm is wasted God get quite irate Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is good Every sperm is needed In your neighborhood Every sperm is useful Every sperm is fine God needs everybody's Mine and mine and mine Let the pagan spill theirs Over mountain, hill, and plain God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is good Every sperm is needed In your neighborhood Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate Organise